5 Top benefits of saying No
Act with Positive intention
When you were a child do you remember life being full of possibilities? Days were endless and there was nothing that could hold you back from doing whatever you chose to do. When asked what you wanted to do when you grew up, you said an astronaut, a racing driver, a famous actor! You knew you could be and do anything you wanted, at that time you only did things that you wanted too, that brought you happiness and joy. You acted with positive intention! As we grow and we are challenged on our abilities to do certain things, we stop acting with positive intention and begin saying yes to others demands. So, I challenge you to act with positive intention once a day and say no if it does not fit. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.
Identify what is important for you to achieve
Make a list of all the things you would like to do and achieve, reignite the child you used to be and wonder at what you could achieve if you just focused on that outcome. If you could free up just fifteen minutes a day, what could you use that time for? Learn a musical instrument, take salsa lessons, volunteer at your local school, what would you achieve. Once your list is written pick just one of the things you want to do, make it happen, discuss it with a friend who will ask you how its going or talk to a coach. Say no just once a day and see what magical things can happen for you.
Challenge your upbringing
If like me, you were raised to put other people first you will have got used to saying yes to others even when you don’t want to do whatever it is. Have you learnt that you sacrifice time now for your rewards later? Are you acting out of obligation? Do you feel guilty if you say no? What if you believed something different, what would that be? When you are on a plane and they conduct the safety talk you hear, “put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” If you put your own needs first, what do you think will happen? Will you have more energy and enthusiasm, will you be a calmer and nicer person? So, challenge the view of putting others first and see what unfolds for you.
You will know you are doing a good job
How do you know you have done a good job at something? Do you get fluttering’s in your stomach? Do you smile broadly? Are you able to see the positive reaction on someone else’s face? Take time to notice your emotional and physical reactions and harness it. If you learn to validate and celebrate your own successes, you will not have to rely on external validation. Therefore, you will say no as you will recognise that your own joy and happiness gives you all the validation you need.
Breaking the habits
When we are constantly saying yes, it becomes a habit and not necessarily you want to keep. By saying no occasionally you can break the habit of habitually saying yes but remember to ease into it. Make small changes first and see how you feel, think about the consequences to friends, family, and colleagues and mitigate any adverse effects. How can you sign post others to changes ahead of time and allow them time to make alternative arrangements. Eventually you will form new habits and only say yes with positive intention.
Let me know how this goes for you at Dreamlife Coaching. I look forward to connecting with
you at www.dreamlifecoaching.co.uk
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Gerri
Dream Life Coaching
