How to gain a win – win by saying No

How to gain a win – win by saying NoSo, what is a win-win? This concept comes from ecology, this is looking at the consequences of your actions on other people. Every action there is a reaction, this can be equal, or it can be opposite to the original action.

It is possible to influence other people’s actions in an alternative way so that you both win. For instance, asking the other person to get to an appointment by bus, this will allow you more tome for things that are important to you, by picking them up they don’t have to worry about getting home.

Considering the effects on people closest to you means that you can think about the options that means you don’t use your authority to cause others to lose and that you can attend to your own needs at the same time.

How to gain a win – win by saying No

Having the power to step away from conforming to societies wishes means to stop worrying about pleasing others and put your own needs and wants as a priority. Doing this with positive intention and not worrying about what others think will give you the freedom to do so much. I remember when I started my own business, I felt I always had to explain why I wasn’t going to do something or why I was saying no. I realised that by being assertive and just stating facts I stopped feeling guilty and enjoyed the time I had to do other things.

The starting point is to know what you want to be, to have and to do. Who are you as a person and how do you portray yourself to others? Are you being your authentic self? Let people know who you are, be consistent and fair in how you act towards others. Consider how your actions will impact others and if necessary, take action to mitigate negative effects.

Start slowly, my challenge is to say no consciously and with intent once a day for the next month and watch the effects this will have on you.
Let me know how this goes for you at Dreamlife Coaching. I look forward to connecting with you at

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